How often do you find yourself refreshing and checking stats for your business, hoping that when the page loads you will see another sale, new leads or more website traffic?
To tell you the truth, I've struggled with this habit a lot in my career and I'm only now starting to understand why.
For the longest time, the only motivator I was ever able to get behind was the motivation of money.
After carefully looking at where this motivation has taken me in my life, I realize that who I am today is less of a person than I was before I started in business.
I was so selfish that it was clear my major mission in life was to make more money so I could be happier.
And for a while it worked.
Sales came in, the business continued to grow until suddenly at the end of 2016, a strange sensation started to come on that I had never felt before.
A lack of sensation and energy for life. Food didn't taste as good, colors were less brighter than normal and ultimately I can only describe this as a dark state of being.
I felt like a machine,
Hopefully, then I would end up actually feeling something again!
This went on for about 12 months and no matter how hard I tried to feel good about my business, life, about my wife, about becoming a father, I still felt numb.
A Chance Encounter
I'm now a big believer that when you need it the most, the universe will deliver you a solution.
Earlier this year I happened to listen to a podcast episode on James Wedmore's “Mind Your Business” Podcast.
At the time I was extremely insular in my approach to learning, thinking that I knew better than everyone else…not a place you want to get to, trust me.
Jill, who is my rock, could see that I was in pain but she didn't know how to get me to talk about it. A side effect of being an extremely left brain, analytical person!
That day, she casually started playing the episode knowing that I could hear it in the background.
The episode was with a guy I had never heard of before. His name was Jim Fortin and they were talking about things I rarely thought about at the time.
The idea was that, instead of looking outside to your environment for ways to make you feel better about yourself, try looking inward instead.
This chance encounter planted a seed in my mind that would later lead to me reaching out and working 1-on-1 with Jim for 3 months.
Off the back of coaching with Jim, I came out feeling motivated with a renewed sense of excitement for life.
I now understood how to better manage my inner thoughts and feelings. Gradually, that numb feeling began to subside and my senses started to return to my body.
Then about 3 months later, I felt myself starting to regress back to the old self again.
That numb feeling started to return and my outlook on life and business began to turn dark again.
To the extent that a psychologist probably would have diagnosed me with clinical depression if given the chance.
Sure, I had learned strategies for dealing with my inner thoughts and emotions, but I didn't feel that I had transitioned into a new state of being.
I had regressed back to my old self.
One day just recently, Jill and I were driving back from her family cottage. Suddenly, a friend of ours sent me a text message and I realized that he had sent me previous texts that I didn't respond to about a month earlier.
He was reaching out then because he was in a bad place and I had ignored his texts.
He needed me and yet I was so self-centered that I couldn't even find the time to respond to his text messages. I was so caught up in my own problems that I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most.
I hopped on a call with him and I told him how bad I felt I wasn't there for him when he needed me.
Because he's such a great guy, he didn't blame me at all, but, it was clear I had been
As our call continued I noticed a calm feeling about him that I hadn't felt before and so I asked him how his life was going.
That was when he revealed The Discovery.
He mentioned a book called Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself and that there were meditations that went along with the book.
These meditations he told me were changing his life completely and so I decided to buy the book.
Long story short, I devoured the book in less than 3 days and from it, I was able to uncover many different principles to carry forward in my life and business.
It took me roughly 3 weeks to identify this principle (I refer to principles as the real treasure you find during times of great challenge) after reading Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself.
In a way, it's not groundbreaking and I'm sure many of you have heard it before. However, one thing I now know
I finally know it to be true.
“Success is born from within.”
I realized that in order to BECOME successful you first must know what it feels like and this can be felt without tangibly achieving anything in the real world.
What's more is that when you get to know that feeling, the more you realize it's built out of a state of service to other people and NOT just yourself.
THIS is why I felt that numb feeling that I talked about earlier!
I was only thinking about myself instead of identifying how I could help other people.
My guess is that over time, others around me could sense this was how I was showing up and NOBODY wants to be around someone who only cares about themselves.
I also realized that I could feel this way without taking any action whatsoever and that by doing so I have now started to train my brain to think and feel like the entrepreneur I wish to become.
An entrepreneur who is positive, optimistic and enthusiastic to others he comes in contact with.
An entrepreneur who has an unshakeable vision of the future.
An entrepreneur who no matter what, puts other people's needs first!
Now, I'm not saying that money is a bad thing, because it's not.
This is how I choose to show up now and if you feel the need, I recommend you further explore this and the other concepts I talked about in this article.